


O, teach me how I should forget to think

by lapoesieestdanslarue



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, it's basically fluff tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 13:03:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8801863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lapoesieestdanslarue/pseuds/lapoesieestdanslarue
Summary: Isak’s heart feels like it’s been out of place ever since Even walked out of the hotel room that night. In his throat, in the pit of his stomach, at a standstill in his chest, in perpetual freefall. (It feels empty, perhaps. Incomplete. Like the little Even-shaped nook the boy himself had carved out was suddenly much bigger than he realised and he had forgotten how it was to be without it.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Romeo and Juliet because i'm trash

Isak’s heart feels like it’s been out of place ever since Even walked out of the hotel room that night. 

In his throat, in the pit of his stomach, at a standstill in his chest, in perpetual freefall. 

(It feels empty, perhaps. Incomplete. Like the little Even-shaped nook the boy himself had carved out was suddenly much bigger than he realised and he had forgotten how it was to be without it.)

His phone feels heavy in his coat pocket as his hands tightens it’s grip on it every time his mind tricked him into believing Even had texted. He nervously stabs at the volume buttons as he steps into the church, approaching his parents. His mother smiles, which is nice, she didn’t smile much before, and so does his dad, and they both give him a hug-- and they smell  _ the same,  _ which shouldn’t be as bizarre as it is. It smells like home, but home has been such an abstract concept this past while, it’s been hard to pinpoint what home  _ is.  _

(Even made him forget though, of course he did. Even made him feel like they were each other’s own home. Home on a bench in a park, in the bottom of a swimming pool, wrapped up in each other, on a bed, in a shower, in the kitchen, on his lips.

_ I save you. You save me right back. _ )

The music washes over him. It’s nice, he supposes. He was never much of a believer in God, or religion or whatever, too much, too big to wrap his head around. He always liked the hymns, though. 

When his phone lights up, and he lets out a breath he hadn’t known he had been holding as his heart starts beating again, that Even-shaped nook demanding to be heard as he reads the words that Even Bech Næsheim has written him.

_ Dear Isak, now I’m sitting in the place we first met for the first time and thinking about you. Soon it’s going to be 21.21 o’clock.  _

_ I want to say a thousand things to you. _

_ Sorry for scaring you. Sorry for hurting you. Sorry for not telling you I was bipolar.  _

_ I’d forgotten it’s not possible to lose someone, everyone’s alone anyways. Another place in the universe we’re together for all eternity, remember that.  _

_ Love you. Even. _

He lets out a shuddery breath, his delight quickly ranging to despair as Even’s words replay themselves in his mind-  _ everyone’s alone anyways.  _

His heart restarts itself by going into a frenzy- He wouldn’t, he  _ couldn’t _ \--

Maybe once, in the time Before Even, Isak would have accepted this. Would have believed it. But not in the time After Even. Not when he has things-- love, relationships,  _ people _ \-- to believe in.

Isak gets up out of his seat and walks out of the pew, ignoring the eyes on him and his parents curious glances as he pushes opens the doors to the church. He’s too busy with the revolution waging itself in his head-

From 21.21 onwards, in accordance with Isak Valtersen, no one is going to be alone, ever. Forever and ever, for all eternity. 

His feet somehow carry him through the city as he makes his way to the Kossegruppa meeting place. All the while, Isak-and-Even are living happy in his head. 

Worries that race through his mind, not unlike the panic that set in when Even was manic, are loud, but not so loud that the memories in his head can’t play themselves out. 

Kissing in the elevator on the way to the hotel, feeling like he was floating--

The feeling of jealously that twisted itself in his stomach as he watched Even kiss Sonja--

Smoking a joint with Even and really  _ seeing _ him--

Watching Even through a computer screen as he laughs and smiles--

That same laugh and smile making warmth bloom all through him as they’re pressed tightly to each other--

Every tender kiss, filled with a love so deep Isak felt like he was drowning in a beautiful joy--

That first kiss. 

In the pool, like Romeo and Juliet but ten times better, because it’s  _ Even.  _

He swallows down the lump in his throat at that thought, because Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy. It’s beautiful, but it’s not a sadness that Isak ever wants to endure so he has to go faster, he has to get to Even, he has to  _ save him right back. _

Any universe where Isak Valtersen has to be without Even Bech Næsheim is not a good one. But this one has to be the good one, it has to be, because the perverse reality is enough to knock a blow to Isak’s chest so bad he nearly has to stop.

He stops short when he see’s the bench. 

The empty bench without Even on it.

His mind goes into a frenzy, no no no, that was not goodbye. That couldn’t be goodbye, Isak hasn’t saved him yet.

The opening of the heavy doors break him away from his rabbit-hole of thoughts, and a relief like he’s never known crashes down around him, and he could drop to his knees there and then and  _ weep.  _

But he doesn’t. 

He swallows, and takes a step forward, and another, and then another, until he can feel Even’s heat and smell that distinct, intoxicating scent and--

I missed you, I love you, I’m saving you.

Lips ghost over skin and eyes are shut, wanting to feel it and never let it go even though you have to lose something for it be yours forever--

“You are not alone.”

A kiss that feels like a baptism, a rebirth  _ again _ , with hope. 

And of this, Isak is certain. That this is forever. 

He wraps his arms around Even and pulls him close, trying to squeeze away the sadness that can become him, but Isak loves him still. 

He’s going to text his mama and apologise, and explain that his boyfriend, his  kjæreste  needed his help. (A spiritual crisis). He’s going to ask to make it up to her, and maybe would she like to meet him? He’s going to take Even to his apartment and lay him down on the bed and hold him close and hold him tight and not let go this time, and listen to him when he speaks. He’ll let him take his time, and then, when he feels like it, Isak will speak as well. He will finally tell Even about his mother (but it has a happy ending now, he hopes), he will tell Even about how incredible he is and how he is always,  _ always  _ not alone. And in the morning, there’ll be no rush. But Isak will eventually drag Even out of bed, and maybe he’ll make breakfast again maybe he won’t, and by the end of the day, Isak will have replaced his curtains with yellow ones.

 

Not in another universe, in this one. 

**Author's Note:**

> I really super duper hope this helped you get over the magnificgance that was that most recent clip, and I also really hope you'd leave a comment telling me what you think!!
> 
> Tak xx


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